Episode 14: Courage to Try New Things

Kristy: 00:07
Welcome to Unshaken, the podcast where unwavering faith is real life. I’m Kristy, and together with my husband Tony, we dive into authentic conversations, offering biblical insights and sharing stories that inspire resilience, especially for families navigating the unique challenges of disabilities. Join us each week as we explore faith with family and the journeys that keep us grounded in Christ. Don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let’s stand firm together. Hi, I’m Kristy, and we’re here today with my husband Tony, and we’re going to talk about courage. So I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned before on this podcast, but I teach for a living. I teach sociology classes. Um, and I have for about 15 years. One of the, I guess there’s a lot of things that I teach that are sort of surprising. But one of the things that I teach that my students find to be the most surprising is that so in Africa, we’ve always, you know, we we see the TV ads and we know that there’s famine, that there’s just inequity in the way that food is distributed, and there’s hungry kids, and you know, we all know all that. We see it all the time. It’s heartbreaking. We would do anything to to make it better. All of the commercials just are so heart wrenching, and we see the little tiny peanuts that are just suffering, and we think, you know, gosh, there’s gotta be a way to help. With all the best, you know, interest at heart, scientists have gone to Africa. What they found is that people in Africa have large families. Um, there’s a lot of people to feed, there’s just a lot, you know, just a lot of people in a little house. The reason they have so many kids is that there’s no social security, there’s no backup. When they get old, if they don’t have kids, there will be no one to take care of them. So they have a lot of kids with the hope that enough will survive to adulthood that by the time they get to their old age, which is not typically as old as we think of old age, that there will be kids to take care of them. So whatever land they have, whatever land that they farm, whatever they have access to, it feeds their family. But that’s it. It covers the number of mouths they have to feed. And so, with the best interests of these people at heart, scientists go to Africa and say, hey, we’ve got pesticides, we’ve got um fertilizers, we’ve got all these scientific ways to make your fields bear better crops, more crops, um, you know, so that instead of just subsistence, you could make money. I mean, you could have excess and you could sell it and you could trade it, and you know, you’d have variety and and all of these things that we know would be amazing for these people. And no matter it, it doesn’t matter how good it sounds, the the people that farm this land say no thank you. And the reason they say no thank you is that they know that with what they have, they can feed their families. But if they take a chance and something goes wrong, somebody’s gonna starve. You know, even if they said, you know, what if we just did like 10% of your land? What if what if we just tried a small piece and they’re like, so the smallest kid doesn’t eat? Like they they just are not able to take the chance. They’d have to see it in order to believe it. You would have to somehow guarantee that they would have what they need, even if it didn’t go well with the experiment, before they could say yes. So Tony and I were in church a couple weeks ago, um, and we were talking about the story of Thomas, doubting Thomas. So after Jesus rose from the dead, he went to the disciples. And at that time, Thomas wasn’t with the other guys. You know, so Thomas got there and they’re like, Hey, we saw Jesus. And he’s like, There’s no way he’s dead. And they were like, Yeah, no, we saw him. And he said, unless I see where the nails were in his hand, unless I see where the sword went through his side, I’m not gonna believe you. He’s like, I can’t, it’s not possible. But I think for him, it was too good to believe. He loved Jesus so much. And to even think that he could somehow be back. I mean, he just he couldn’t lean into that. He needed to have the proof. I don’t think it was about skepticism. I think it was about just such a tremendous love and that it was too big of a risk to take for him to lean into it until he knew he wasn’t gonna get himself excited. A week later, the guys were together again, and Jesus showed up and he said, Hey Thomas, put your finger here. These are my hands. Put your hand here, touch my side and stop doubting and believe. And Thomas says to him, My Lord and my God. And it makes me have goosebumps to think about that. How how he must have felt, like just the joy he must have felt. Oh, just so cool. And Jesus said, Because you’ve seen me, you’ve believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed. And so it just kind of this whole thing has me thinking about how many areas in life that we are afraid to take a chance, that we forego because we can’t believe, we can’t bring ourselves to believe. I think about how many. Have you ever had a new routine, like something, a different situation where maybe you’re gonna carpool and another parent is gonna pick up your kiddo and drop them off at school Tuesdays and Thursdays, and you don’t have to be ready to, you know, to go get in the car on those days. Or maybe it’s a new job or a new career, you know, and you know you could be happier in your work, but you’d have to give up what you have. You could make more money, you could work shorter hours, you could have a nicer boss or more fulfilling responsibilities, but you’d have to give up the current thing. Maybe it’s there’s somebody new at your work or at school or you know, in your in your social circle, and you want to reach out, you want to be friendly, but what if they think you’re weird? Uh, you know, what if they don’t like you? What if what if they rebuff you and you feel embarrassed or whatever? And I think that I mean it’s easy, right? It’s easy to put that to put our doubts ahead of what we think could be the good outcome. And honestly, I don’t know why we’re fearful like that. I think something that Tony and I have come to realize as we have really spent more time professionally in the disability space, is that I think a lot of families kind of come to this where they’ve either they’ve got a child who was born with a disability, or somehow a disability appears, you know, into their family. I think we’ve probably talked about this a little bit before. Instead of reaching out and looking for what might ease it, for what might make it better, or solutions to problems that they might have, or or you know, where there are resources available, families tend to turn inward. It’s sort of like this bunker mentality. They hunker down, they they power through their difficult circumstances. And just like the farmers in Africa, you know, just like Thomas, the doubter, they’re afraid to let go of the way they’re getting through. As I’m saying this, another example that comes to mind, I’ve had in teaching, we’ve had all kinds of different softwares that we’ve used and whatever. And no matter how robust the training is, there’s always features that we don’t get training on. But it’s something that some of my teachers will they’ll find it and they’ll figure out a way and they’re like, hey, I’m doing this cool thing. Well, we get farther up the road and the training rolls out a little farther. And what’s been taking them 15 steps to do, you can do in two clicks if you just do it from this other menu. But because that’s been their lifeline, like that’s been like they figured it out themselves and that’s been their, you know, their thing, they won’t give it up and just do it the easy way. They’re gonna lean into what they felt was their was their safety rope. I think we should talk through, and Tony, please hop in here. I think we should talk through some of the the things that we forego when we are afraid to take a chance, when we when we don’t feel like we can let go of the the safety, what we could gain from finding the courage to try new things.

Tony: 09:02
You know, when it comes to this like topic of courage, one of the things that comes to mind for me is just the story of Gideon, and how you know, when you go back, when you go back and and and you read that story in the old testament, how many times Gideon makes God prove that that he’s there, that that he’s with him. And you know, it’s it’s it’s almost comical to read through this story and to read how much Gideon doubts. But when we read through this story, like we we have we do the same thing, you know, like you know, we we see God come through in our lives over and over and over again. We can look back on our lives, and Kristy and I talk about this all the time. We we look back on our lives and we we we look back at the at the hard moments, at the hard seasons, and we’re like, oh, that’s why we had to go through that, that’s why those things happened. But in in the moment, in the midst of it, it’s so hard to trust that God is in control, you know. Thinking about the you know, these different stories, you know, Gideon, how he says, you know, at one point, you know, make the ground wet, but keep the keep the cloak dry, you know, and and then he does the opposite, you know, make the cloak soaking wet, but the ground around it needs to be bone dry. And all different things that he, you know, it’s just ridiculous if you start to really read through the different examples, but it’s like Christie said, Gideon didn’t want to give up what he knew was secure and what he knew that he could do and not be noticed, like he was down like pushing the mill manually because he didn’t want to be noticed. And and so, how many of us in in that same bunker mentality that Kristy has been talking about, like we get into our holes and we get into our ruts and we get into our routines, and and God is constantly saying to us, there’s more for you. I have more for you, but we’re like, no, no, no, no, no, I’m not gonna do that. I’m I’m I’m good here. Um like I because I can’t I can’t stand the the uncertainty. I can’t stand the the feeling of oh, I gotta try, I gotta reach, I gotta, I gotta do something new that that I haven’t done like my entire life in some cases. You know, we we can look at it in the old testament and kind of kind of laugh at Gideon, but honestly, it’s history repeating itself all over again. We do the same thing to God over and over and over again. So um, you know, it talks in in 2 Timothy, uh, in the first chapter, verse 7, for the spirit of God, for the spirit that God gives us is not one uh is not is not made to be timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. And and I think that you know we like the first two words, like we like power, we and we like love, but we don’t like the self-discipline. And and I think that’s where that’s where we we get to a point where we say, okay, I might try, but then this the self-discipline shows up, and it’s like, ah, never mind. I I don’t want to do that.

Kristy: 12:48
Well, I so I mean, yeah, there’s a learning curve, right? In in being courageous. Um, I mean, you’re trying something that you don’t know, and you’re also you’re kind of you have to bet on yourself to be right. Or what could you lose?

Tony: 13:04
In those moments when when you have to when you have to bet on yourself, that’s when the fear creeps in. And that’s when that’s when you have to truly push forward. And so many of us, and so many times, and like I’m guilty of this. I know, I know Kristy’s sometimes struggled with this, although she’s she’s more of a risk taker than I am. Um, but but it’s it’s more of like we have to push through that that fear, and we have to bet on ourselves knowing that God is with us and knowing that God is calling us to these bigger things, these better things. But it’s so hard to convince ourselves that we were meant, we that we were meant for more, you know, and that and that God wants more and wants better for us. And so because we’re like, nah, I he doesn’t want that for me. He doesn’t he doesn’t want me to to to have that, and so we we settle for the crumbs, you know, like like the I always think of like coming to God’s house and coming to God, like there’s this big banquet table, and he set up like this wonderful meal for us, and he’s like, come sit down, come enjoy this meal. And and we’re we’re so we’re so afraid, and we’re so we see we feel so unworthy that that we just we we just settle for the for the roll on the on the end of the table, and we said, this is good enough. I’m I’m I’m good with this. Thank thank you so much. I’m I’m good with this. Instead of going after, you know, the the the full meal that God is is calling us to have.

Kristy: 14:54
It’s a barbecue.

Tony: 14:56
Hey, everybody likes a good barbecue, right? So it’s just it’s just one of those things that like we have to get to a point where we decide, you know what, I’m gonna take a chance. I know God is with me, I know He’s calling me to do this. I’m going to I’m going to put in the work and put in the effort, you know, and that’s that’s why so many times in scripture you we see the the this imagery of farming, and we see this imagery of of sowing seed. And you know, it’s it says even in Ecclesiastes, it says, sow your seed in the morning and at evening, let your hands not be idle. For you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well. You know, it’s unpopular, but so many times, like the the progress that we’re able to make in life is when nobody’s watching. It’s when nobody cares about what we’re doing, but we’re gonna do it anyway. We’re gonna push anyway. We’re gonna we’re gonna work on you know that paper anyway. We’re gonna we’re gonna work on that, you know, that assignment anyway, because we want to further our education, or we’re gonna do a podcast anyway, even though nobody’s listening yet. We’re gonna record that episode. We’re gonna go through the process of of learning how to do this and learning how to edit, learning how to, you know, how to do social media and all those things that you need to learn and you need to do, but it’s not fun, it’s not glamorous, it’s not you know the viral thing that everybody loves to see. But in order to get there, you’ve got to put in the work to you know to get up that mountain. Everybody loves the mountaintop. We all love that mountaintop, and we all love how pretty it is, but in order to get to that mountaintop, we got to do the climb, and that’s the hard part, right?

Kristy: 17:03
That’s what we’re called. And I guess the other piece is we have to do our part, we have to learn, we have to be brave, like we have to step out in faith, but we’re not stepping out, we’re not stepping out as blind as it feels because we know that God is there. We know that whatever steps we take and whatever, you know, whatever we do, He’s gonna bless that obedience, He’s gonna bless that that courage, he’s gonna bless the faith and help us get it done.

Tony: 17:34
And so, you know, there there are different you know examples of like taking risks. So if I go to the store and I grab a different brand of paper towel, that’s a low risk thing. I’m I’m taking a chance that that this brand or or this kind or this size is gonna do better than than the brand that I’ve always used for the last six years. You know, I mean, that’s you know, you take a shot and it and if it doesn’t work, well next week you buy, you go back to the brand that you were using before. No big deal, right? That’s low risk. You know, if you if you want to take it up a notch, you know, I’m a sports guy. So so I’m thinking about like like in any sort of sport where like you’re you let a backup start. So think about hockey, you know, and the goalie is probably one of the most important positions in hockey. And so instead of starting your starter, the guy that you know is is gonna do well in the net, the coach decides, okay, I’m gonna I’m gonna start the backup. Even though he hasn’t started for me all year, I’m I’m gonna just start this backup in this in this like crucial game. Maybe they’re like, maybe this is the game that determines whether or not you go you go to the playoffs, right? And so so high stakes game, but the coach says, I’m gonna give the backup a try. That’s that’s a risky thing for the coach to do, you know, and then you get into you know an even higher risk of like you know, thinking about, you know, when there’s a medical issue. So if there’s um if if there’s somebody that that maybe comes diagnosed with cancer, you know, or or some other, you know, major medical event, you know, you go to choose a doctor, that’s a really high risk thing to do because you’re putting potentially your life or your loved one’s life in their hands, and you don’t know if that doctor is the best one that you can get access to. Maybe that doctor down the road is is the one that you actually need, but you don’t know that. You have to just trust that this doctor is going to be able to help you with whatever the the medical issue is. But when it’s a when it’s a when it’s a high-leverage situation, that can be really tough, you know. And so, but but when we, you know, if if we go even a step higher, let’s say God is truly calling us to do something that is completely out of our wheelhouse. Maybe like we’ve spent 20 years in a call center, and all we’ve done is call center work, right? And we’ve we’ve we just we we come in, we work our nine to five, and we go home and we do the same thing day after day after day, but all of a sudden you’re in church or you’re somewhere. Maybe you see that that commercial late at night because you couldn’t sleep that night or whatever, and you just feel that tug on your heart. You feel like ah, God is calling me to missionary work, and God’s calling me to like travel, not not just like go and like help out the homeless, like in the homeless shelter down the street, but God is calling me to like truly like sell everything and go all out and be a missionary halfway across the world. That’s a really, really scary thing. But if if God is calling us to do that, then we have to believe and we have to have the courage to say, okay, God’s in this, he’s calling me to do this, and so he’s he’s not going to let me fail. Because I can look back on my life and see so many countless times of God coming through over and over and over and over again. This big thing that God is calling me to do, I have to trust. I have to have faith and I have to have the courage to push through all the fears because I know that God is calling me to do that. And part of that knowing and part of that, part of that courage is praying through it and just making sure, making sure it’s not, you know, just something that’s a whim that you know that you thought of like, you know, in passing. And so, you know, praying, you know, especially if it’s a really big decision, like in missionary work, praying with your family, praying with your spouse, praying, just covering whatever that major decision is in prayer to make sure that everyone is saying, Yeah, this is really scary, but yeah, I do believe that God is calling us to do this. So, you know, it’s it’s it’s really one of those things that when God calls us, and that’s why Kristy and I always say when we pray, we’re we’re always saying, God, light it up with stadium lighting because we want to know, we want to be sure, we want to follow you, we want to do what you’re telling us to do. Just make it undeniable because, like, and I say to God, God, I’m dumb. So I need you to make it to make it bright and make it undeniable, make it unmistakable. Like, there are so many times that I feel like Gideon because I’m asking for that confirmation and I’m looking for that confirmation because I don’t want to miss it. I don’t, I don’t want to miss the opportunity that that God has for us.

Kristy: 23:42
I think so. As you’ve been talking, I’ve been thinking, just kind of thinking through this, and it’s about control, right? We like to have control. Um, or we like to think we have control. You know, in your paper towels example, we still have control, you know. If we don’t like it, we probably still have another roll of the old ones in the closet. Or we’ll just run back to Publix or whatever and and pick up another one. You know, if you’re goalie, you know, he starts whatever, there’s a million shots on goal and he’s he’s not getting the job done, you pull him, you know, and we can even change doctors, but we can’t change with turning our stuff over to God and with truly trusting him, it it’s not a shades of of goodness thing, right? Either you do or you don’t. Either you turn it over or you are still holding, you know, holding back. It’s really all or nothing. And and I think it’s all or nothing every day or sometimes every hour, right? Because I think it’s so easy to pick stuff back up without even realizing it, to want to take that control, but to actually let it go, to actually give up control and say, I’ve done all I can, I need you, like I’m counting on you. Oh, that’s so scary.

Tony: 25:10
I’m thinking about, you know, and I mean, we we see this in in scripture all the time. Um, and it, I mean, it said it says in scripture all the time, do not fear, you know, and and that’s in scripture, you know, 365 times. And like there’s there’s a reason for that because God wants us to not fear, but it is so hard, it is so hard to do that, and you know, there’s so many like pieces of scripture that uh that just cut to the heart, and a piece in in Isaiah, you know, starting in chapter 43, starting in verse 18, forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up. Do not perceive it. I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, the wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself that they may proclaim my praise. You know, to to read just that that piece of scripture, it’s so convicting for me because like God does provide everything that that animals need, and they don’t worry about it. They they just they go out and and they they just know they they will find all of the things that that they need. They don’t worry, they don’t worry, they don’t stress, they just go and live their lives, and yet we, as God’s crowned jewel, his prized possession, the only thing on the planet that can claim to be in the image of God, we are the ones that worry, we are the ones that stress, we are the ones that doubt, we are the ones that say, God, I just I just can’t do it. I just I just can’t believe that that you’re gonna come through, even though he’s come through over and over and over and over again. But yet we still doubt. And we we act just like doubting Thomas, and we say, unless I see XYZ, I’m not gonna believe it. I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna lean into you know what God, what God is clearly calling me to do unless I see XYZ. And and we we do it all the time. So we can look at these characters in in the Bible and we can laugh and and we can say, Oh Thomas, how could you how could you not believe? But yet we we do it to ourselves all the time.

Kristy: 28:00
We’re afraid to hope. So to bring it all together, we are just we’re sinful, you know. We we we are afraid, we are fearful when we’re told to not be afraid. We don’t always trust when we’re told to trust. We don’t always have faith when you know when we’re told to have faith. You know, you you read a scripture earlier that um you know that says that um this the spirit that God gave us doesn’t make us timid, it gives us power, love, and self-discipline. Like we have the tools, we need to use them. So to get this done, I think the really the only lever that we can truly pull is what you said. It’s prayer. We have everything else. We have we can choose to lean into it or not, we can be brave or or you know, or not. But the thing that we can do is pray. Like you said, you know, we we pray regularly. I I hope, you know, I hope new friends that that you guys too. I hope you’re praying all the time. Um we’re praying for you. And here today, you have you’ve taken a chance on us, and you know, we appreciate it. Let’s pray together. Let us pray for you, let us pray for for all of us today. Um, that we will be courageous and that we will lean into the promises that God has made to us and use the tools that He’s given us, that we will be willing to take the risk, that we’ll be willing to give up the comfort of control for what better things that God has for us. Tony, do you want to pray?

Tony: 29:47
Sure, I’ll pray. Father, we come before you and um number one. I I think I think we just need to first just apologize. We know that you are a good, good father. And um I I just want to apologize um on behalf of myself, on behalf of Kristy and and everyone that’s that’s listening to this, that sometimes we do doubt. Um, sometimes we do look for confirmation, and we do, you know, we act like Gideon and we act like Doubting Thomas. And despite acting like these these brothers, you still show us so much grace and mercy. You love us anyway, you show us over and over how much you are with us and how much you love us and you care for us and provide for us. Even in the darkest of days, you are still there with us. So, Father, number one, I just want to say I’m sorry, we’re sorry. And Father, I just would ask that you would just give us fresh eyes. Help us to have the courage that we need to be able to not just settle for the crumbs, uh, but actually come to the table, come to your table and get full on the meal that you have provided for us so that we can go boldly to the places that you have called us to go. And you’ve said in your word you want us to uh go out and make disciples to the ends of the earth. So help us do that, Father. Help us go, help us go to all the places that you want us to go, help us to lean into the things that you are calling us to do. Help us to have uh the power, the love, but especially the self-discipline to do the things even when no one is watching. Help us to take a step forward and light the path so that we don’t stray away from you, but rather we stay right next to you and we walk the path that you would have us walk, and we run the race that you would have us run. It’s different for each and every one of us. But I’m so thankful that you plot that race out for us. You knew it before we were born and you loved us and you said, I’ve got something just for you. Thank you, Father, for that. Thank you so much that you stay patient with us and you walk with us and you run with us, and you rejoice and you celebrate with us when we do have the courage to step out in faith and and do the things that you are calling us to do. Thank you, Father, so much for your son. Who made a way by dying on the cross and coming back to life three days later. We love you, Father, and we ask all of these things in your son’s precious name. Amen. Amen.

Kristy: 33:14
Have a good day, friends, and see you soon.